smirch

Have you ever wondered why is it that we read from left to right or from top to bottom. If computers had been the first device we had written on it might have been very different. Or if we had been Chinese.

Shaka and the Man are back. Enough time in Kolkata and they knew what they had to come back and face. A smelly dog in the foyer and a floor that never lookes quite clean enough. I expect it is because we are home all day.

Kalki got over his vomiting quickly and I have decided adult education can wait till the kids are adults. I am sick of the half splintered life I attempt to live while allocating what is left of a calcified brain to obtuse thoughts and renderings.
With anyluck it will not result in Langosh sales at 50.
The chart says menial work so it would be silly to fight it if it was inevitable. Best not have brain filled with terribly important things itching to hatch only to land on the counter of a sales job. I should be so lucky at 50.

Despite all my efforts the dogs will come back. my neighbour is no help as she watches them break down my barriers.
It will take time to settle into new reality. Must not struggle to get ahead, to what i do not know. Must live the day. Haven't done it for a while. Driven by spouse who insists for reasons unknown to me to study and pursue, but what.

My only ambition was a cattage with a garden and he blew that one well and truly. Lines in the sand. Sand shifts of its own accord, we could just as easily have waited. It may have been better for the girls at this stage to be here. Gives them time to think instead of constantly preening though the holidays have left time for preening enough. Vrnda maybe the one to worry about, I don't know. She seems like a leaf in the wind at the moment and I wonder who is doing the blowing.

Got so tired of all the desperate pondering and mortal angst. Yes I am cheesed off with the institution but who isn't.
Take it slow and don't expect everything to reveal itself just yet. It is too late to change tunes and this one has been sung for so long I might as well figure out what the lyrics actually mean before I scuttle it entirely.

It's about relationships but in the end with what. We get older, harder, more suspicious after learning so much about our own ways. Then where does tender faith come into all of it. Almost seems obsurd at this age. I shall figure it out in time I expect and I think it aught to be my own time and not uni time. Though I am a bit slow.

Back to original identity , happy cult member, mother of 4 and home maker. Ok, presently working at school but it is close to home and filled with family members so it is more or less home. Have cooks and cleaners so all is well.
I am just not ready for big questions demanding all of me.

Here they come to get me............arrghhhh.
No the door shut again. They can leave me alone for another hour.
Think i will go back to reading a translation of The Idiot. I think it is Russian. Pretty interesting.