passed by

Crusty old piece of news paper flaps against the window, stuck there to keep the cool in or the heat out. What ever reason, it looks deprived, rancid? Not quite, depraved. It looks plain sad. Flapping against the frame, a mild breeze, doing bugger all but looking poor and cheap. Broken down on the second floor window of the teachers building. The cheapest building of the lot. Proud of that they were. All gain and no pain, education at the bottom of the rung except for extremists and madmen. They call reform, I call it sabotage and not a GBC in site that gives a damn. Hahah, The joke is on me ............again. From the fire to Agni's lap and back again.

I write as a vent but so scared of what the world can and will do I feel impotent to vent lest it be re-construed and hurled back at me as arrows, ever disabling me from fathoming what the hell is going on.

You can read as much philosophy as you like; you can get up in the morning but that wont stop you from feeling it bad when they dismantle the house.

I'm tired and I want to sneak into some God forsaken corner to forget it all. Ok may be not God forsaken, how about his brethren?

Back to Aus to face another chapter of the unknown. The author of my own story in league with whom?

I gave the Moldavite away. Not sure if I am deluding myself by finding a way to palm off the pressure or is it that I empathise and care about the vacuity that can be experienced having bread more than the world needs and to less grateful arms than expected.

Nepal was great if you like to rough it. The austerity is immense. They know not, how to clean. But the mountains were to die for, but in this case I avoided that by sitting on top of the bus on the way down lest the breaks give out. My driving instructor of eons ago informed of the dangers coming down rather than up. Is there a metaphor there? No, I think aspiring is much more dangerous as can be attested in any religious movement you might like to mention.

Must get a job. Well, let syncronicty be my sister cos I haven't a clue. That'll teach me. Hoping to get back to Uni and study what I damn want to instead of what I have to. If not, I guess pushing trolleys will have to do.

Words of advice, do not join a club with promises. They come at a price if at all. Best jut to get on with it and let the idiots dream while the ingenious laugh.

Bitter moments of recrimination. Must pass through with self intact but I gave it up and must get it back.

SO bloody sad.