There is infact no philosophy for head aches. If there were we would no longer have them. Doesn't philosophy resolve the evils of life and death? maybe that is the trick, I am not philosophical. Just a deranged mind let loose with no tether and no structure. Maybe that is why it is starting to manifest as physical pain.
Sitting between head ache and reality waiting for the trickle of each slow painful word to manifest ......yes still on it...... the essay.
So the loving daughter brings in a beverage of instant coffee. Who drinks that stuff but desperates. Anyhow I have pain so it may fix it.
I really am tired, [well in more ways than one] of waking up every morning with a head ache. It really does put a damper on being alive.
I heard Satsvarupa had one every other day and I am now scared I will go the way of he. What ever way it was, he went. He wrote too much, to much of it was actually published and too many of us are now confused about what a head ache can do to a man. Essentially I am pretty conservative or terribly scared either way Satsvarupa is off my radar but then Sucih says they used a book of his called Santorium for some uni discussion some where. Oh God it was in Belgium. An Iskcon affiliated Uni. What did they say about it? Are they as broad as that or did they sit back and snigger at his humanity or animality?
So the head ache kicked out and I guess it was a combination of chemicals that I consummed to distract or appease the pain. I suspect that caffeine has more to answer for than we know. They say it prevents alzheimers disease. Well that alone makes it worth considering but further study may put caffeine in a very bad light.
I am not worried about the flood though I worry that my neighbour from Sweden will freak out at yet another random act of nature that will invariably torture her sense of belonging.
Sweden must be a very precise place. Nature is present but somehow they have made a pact with her. Well Bengal has not and further more she is in all out war with Bangladesh.
We checked out Aus on the Mac from far above. They have satalites that can zoom in on your house. Unfortunately I left a part of myself in that house. The dream of reclusive rural life, off the grid, drop dunny, leaking roof, pythons curled up on the rafter of the veranda. Clay as top soil. Eucalypts eveywhere, clouds cool and low drifting in always. A hamock on the veranda and an easy flow. Who wouldn't think that was good? I love what I am doing now but it requires for me to wake 'oh jiva' and this girl has got a taste for the matrix.
My favourite part of the first matrix was the part where this guy tries to crack a deal with Smith to re-enter the matrix. Hey I am with you all the way. Ignorance is bliss and the twilight zone is just a lot of bloody guess work until such time as some one above chooses to relieve you of your madness.
Ahh, why couldn't you remain a simple fellow Satasvarupa. Why did you want so bad to be a much loved bohemian poet. Don't you know that bohemia now is pushing it too far. There are no rules now so you stoop into another species and try to reflect life where there is only death. What happened to you? Did you swallow a stupid pill? Or maybe the knack for cliches in this movement got you down and you tried to find truth in another realm not knowing that truth is as elusive as love. Why didn't you stick to reinterpreting in relevant terms? You had to throw the whole book out.
Must check out this gory web site they say he has. They say it is tragically vulgar.
Must go and do needful, ring bells with love and write what refuses to be written. They are the worst. It is like going through a crammed drawer of junk and piecing the history of how the junk got there in the first place. As if I could find life in that. I shouldn't be so harsh.
Must have faith that Sarasvati might reveal. I think I don't like knowing that I do not actually know.
It takes away the justification for being an opinionated and obnoxious twat.
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